PreInterview

My preinterview went well today and I now just have to finish filling out my application. That process is easier said than done. I have so much work to do by the end of the semester and my house is a mess (although I have some clean clothes now). That's all... I need sleep.

My Drinking Philosophy

During the weekend alot of people asked me about my drinking philosophy. So here it is:
I choose not to drink any alcohol at all. That does not mean that I look down on people who do, I just don't see the point in it. I understand those who want to drink for social reasons and if it is legal (i.e. you are overage and aren't driving) and not to the point of drunkenness (as drunkenness leads to debauchery according to the Bible) then I don't see a problem with it. Personally, I don't want to spend money on it (as it's expensive), see what the affects on my body are in conflict to my medicine, or as a camp blog post stated I don't want to have the temptation to like it and then have it lead to any consequences (addictions, lack of judgement, etc.). I've had to take care of too many drunk people/friends and seen the effects of the alcohol on those who don't know when to stop and those around them.
I instead chose to not drink any and typically stay away from the party atmosphere... mostly related to the fact that my body can't handle tons of bass, I'm not big into dancing, alcohol smells bad (it's an acquired taste apparently), and often people tend to not wear enough clothes in those places.
That being said, I do not put my personal philosophy on anyone else and just encourage you to follow the drinking laws and the Biblical guidelines to not drink to the point of sinning or being in danger.

Not alone

The song left on my pandora station was Not Alone. As the semester draws to a close, I'm reminded of the fact that I'm never alone. I won't leave my friends alone and I know that they won't leave me alone either. Best part is that God will never leave me, even when I'm in my single apartment.
The other reason that this hit me so much lately was that due to the weekend being completely filled with drinking, it reminded me of the importance of friends. Now I don't drink and will probably explain that in a later post, but I still see the affects of alcohol. Yesterday I was eating late in the dining hall when I saw a guy sitting at a table alone puking on himself. He was out of it enough to not be moving in response to puking and couldn't leave when someone encouraged him to get out. I called University Police so that he could get help. He was taken by the rescue squad to the hospital, in addition to many other students who went there this weekend and more who will go most likely. Now if he had a friend to tell him to stop drinking before he got to the point of alcohol poisoning or to make sure that he got home safely instead of leaving him in the dining hall that would have made a big difference.
Friends are so important in our life and knowing that you can call someone and trust them to help you is crucial. I'm very thankful that I have people I can call if needed and also so blessed that my God is always with me! If you feel alone call me or even better, call on God. He's always there to listen to your call as he never sleeps. Thank your friends for being there for you and treasure the time you have them... never leave them alone.

Food and conversations

Have you every thought about the role of food and conversation? If you want to ask someone out on a date often it's to coffee or dinner. Both are ways to get a chance to know the other person with fewer stresses. If you get bored, just stick some food in your mouth and think about something else as you chew. You can also use eating as a way to just listen to the conversations around you in a staff room or at a restaurant. It's a great way to spark conversations too as it can become the topic if you really need something. Either way, I'm thankful to the number of people who have bought me food lately (mostly due to the fact that they had to spend their meal plan anyway), but it's still appreciated especially when partnered with conversations.

Long Day

I was a substitute teacher today responsible for giving part of the NYS Math test again... which I'm still not a fan of. But despite the horrible start to my day (hitting a dog on the way to work who thankfully is ok), God turned it into a wonderful day. I was gone from before 8am until after midnight, but I know that despite my lack of sleep He will be glorified tomorrow.
I was able to leave subbing early today (while still getting paid) which allowed me to go to my other job and help monitor the research expo. While there I met with a few friends and saw lots of research that my friends had participated in. I also learned that people who can't tan (like me and other redheads) have more symmetrical faces. Since symmetry is usually more attractive, I'm just waiting now for my door to be knocked over by all the guys wanting me. Just kidding.
Anyway, I left there to go to my office, kinda deal with a few problems, then off to meet with a friend. After a great convo, I went to class, got dinner with another friend and hung out for a while before meeting a third friend. This last friend and I were able to have about 3 hours worth of conversation which was such a blessing to me. I learned alot about myself and her as well. So while my alarm is going to be set for about 5 hours after I go to bed and I'll have to wake up with less than 6 hours of sleep... today was worth it. God honoring conversations are the best!

State Testing

For those of you not in NYS right now we are on day 4 of a 6 day series of tests (ELA for 3 days, math for 3) and that's not all of the tests. These tests are each 90 minutes long (per day) and impact the schedules of 3rd to 8th graders all across the states. I'm not a fan of such long tests as I feel that students tend to finish them and don't care much about the results. Regardless, I'm administering one for the rest of this week and I have worked my observation/work schedule around them for next week as well. It's helpful for substitutes to have the tests as teachers get removed from the classroom to grade the tests, but still teachers belong in the classroom as I'm sure they would agree with. We'll see what the rest of this week brings (other than nice weather :) )

Snow Day

Today I was supposed to go supervise the college students who are completing their field placements in local schools. However, the school decided to have a snow day. Yes there is snow on the ground there and more snow in the forecast, but I feel that they called a snow day mostly because in April when you have leftover snow days, you should just use them. I support their decision to use up the leftover days as those days get used sometime. Why not today?

Wintry Mix

The weather forecast for today is a "wintry mix." For those of you who don't live in western New York, that means it's an all inclusive term that means something is falling out of the sky that is cold and wet. Right now (as in 10 minutes ago not necessarily this minute) it appeared to be snowing a wet snow but hitting the ground as rain. This constantly changes and is supposed to turn into actual snow later today. This nice snowstorm in April, once all of the flowers have blossomed and people have put away their winter gear, has cause many snow days today. The snow days might also have been called because school districts had leftover snow days from the mild winter and could spend them easier than in December. Ahhh the join of winter. I'm going to stay inside next to my heater while writing my thesis... well after a short nap. No outside writing today and probably no soccer game later either.

Camp

As I have been researching the benefits and history of camp I have come to realize just how blessed I am to have been able to go to camp. I went to day camps, weeklong resident camps, and winter snowcamps then volunteered at day camps and snowcamp. I have also worked (for pay) at weeklong resident camps, three week academic camps, and now a full season camp. All of these different experiences have helped prepare me for life at college, studying abroad, and also teaching. I have been able to connect with people who live all around the world through camps and have learned so much about myself. If you have not had the privilege to attend camp or work at one, I recommend it as it is an experience I feel every child and adult should be able to have. It's helped make me who I am today and I can't wait to help influence the lives of more campers this summer!

Moving

My next door neighbors are moving today...as in the ones in an actual house. I'm not sure where to, but it is a reminder that all of us are moving on. As the semester draws to a close many of my friends will be graduating and moving on to work, home, or in most cases graduate school. They will be sprinkled all across the United States just as many of my high school friends are now. In these final weeks it is a tough time to combine school work with the goal of spending final time with some of your friends that you have spent hours with over their time at college. You know that some will return while others may never make it back to visit, or at least not while you are there. So as I go off to work on my homework, the thoughts of the importance of friends echos around as the Girl Scouts song goes. "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold."

Thesis

This week and next I will be working hardcore to get my thesis proposal as close to done as possible (before Tuesday). This involves writing all of a 15 page literature review and then my 5 page methodology. Thankfully I have my introduction almost completed and all of the articles read and about 1/3 read. As I go through the weekend, don't be surprised if I pull out some article about camp to highlight. At least it's a good topic :)

Food Challenge update

A few weeks ago I started a challenge to not buy any groceries except milk, fresh fruit, and fresh vegetables. To date I have only bought half a gallon of milk :) My cabinets are getting emptier, but my freezer is still about as full as before. Only 55 days to go! (and I won't be here for all of that time either.

Priorities

I need to switch up my priorities some as they aren't too in line with my job right now (being a student). Somehow writing things like my thesis have gotten pushed much farther to the bottom then they should have and I need to refocus on getting it written. That being said, it's hard to focus more on a paper which has some temporary importance then relationships or God which I feel have more eternal benefits. So after helping a friend out tonight, I'm going to study my bible for a little while then make sure I'm in bed by 2 am so I can get about 8 hours of sleep and to be ready for the Kindergardeners tomorrow. More thesis work tomorrow for sure (between dinner and the soccer game and after the soccer game). Hmmm... this is going to be harder than I thought.

Baby

Today I got to hold a five day old baby. The baby boy was beautiful, but as I held him I was reminded of how glad I am to not have my own baby right now. I don't want to have the responsibility of feeding it, changing it, and stopping it from crying in the middle of the night. While I do want kids, I am willing to wait for that joy :)

Good person

Have you ever given blood and thought about how you are helping to save up to three lives? No matter what the pain/annoyance you know that it's worth it. Same thing with being an organ donor. I think it's the most disgusting thing to think of my organs being taken out of my dead body and put into someone else's so they can live. But, what good are the organs when I'm dead? Why should I keep things that I don't need when they can save another person.
So despite the fact that both giving blood and being an organ donor are disgusting, these life saving ways are my small part of helping carry on Christ's work. He gave His life for us, not just a few hours or our organs once we had finished them. No He gave us His perfect life when he was still young and could have continued. He died for us so that we can live. With that immense showing of love, how can we not serve our fellow humans by giving of things that we don't need?

Quality Conversations

This week I was bless to have tons of quality conversations with many of my friends. I count it as an honor anytime I can be there for someone when they need to talk and I love the fact that I can actually hold conversations for over an hour with so many people. Whether the convo was on the phone, in my apartment, your dorm, at a restaurant, on campus, or in your apartment it was a wonderful time and I left it ruined and privileged. I am so thankful that I had the time this week to spend so many hours talking (I don't think I watched a single movie with others either). I hope this trend continues and know that I am always here to talk. Any time of night or day if you need it, and during reasonable hours if it's just for fun :) Love you all!

Goals of Today

Maybe if I write them down I will actually accomplish my goals for today.
1. Do dishes
2. Clean apartment
3. Start writing my thesis
4. Answer a few more questions of my job application
5. Study my Bible... I'm thinking Ephesians for some reason
6. Get some human interaction maybe by watching a concert

Penpals

I got a letter from my amazing pen pal in Australia today. We met in person when I studied there and we had the same field placement (prac). In the last 3 years we've continued to send long letters, via mail but often typed to make them shorter (hence cheaper to mail). But, we've adjusted to times by alerting via facebook when we send a letter and when it is received. So despite us keeping the old traditions we still incorporate the new technology and keep in touch between letters. Sadly, I'm not the best penpal as I have sometimes taken long periods of time to write a letter back. Regardless, penpals are great things and ways to stay in touch with another friend in a different country or part of the world. And seeing the letter in the mail is a great feeling as you pick it up to read it!

Cracking

You never notice the little things in life until someone points them out to you or you can't do it. I usually crack my toes very regularly, to the annoyance of some of my friends. Today however, I couldn't crack my toes cause I hurt my foot. Kinda my ankle, but really just the tendon that goes into my foot. Either way it hurts to crack my toes. That's really all I have to say. I hurt my foot and I like to crack my toes/neck/back.

Take 3

Today I was doing science activities with a student and we were mixing paints like Di Vinci. We completed our second practice run before we attempt the final project, a "Mona Goose.' As we practiced with the plaster of paris mixing it, we made some mistakes. We spilled it, colored the table and our fingers, and had colors turn out incorrectly. Regardless, each time we learned something new.
As I keep doing more science experiments, I'm reminded of how often they fail. In lab the experiments did not turn out correctly most of the time, and those were tested experiments. When we try something new the likelihood of it not working correctly is even higher.
So what's our attitude when it fails? Do we complain and stop trying? or Do we learn from our mistakes and try again hoping it will change the next time.
As teachers we are taught to reflect on our lessons each time and to adapt for the future. This reflection is so important both in teaching and in our regular life. Chances are if something did not work the first time, it probably won't work exactly the same way a second time. Try something new and see what happens. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, just learn from them.

Light

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 4:16

God is slowly revealing to me what He wants me to do. He is guiding me along very unfamiliar paths and slowly telling me what is coming in the darkness ahead. My summer job was filled with alot of darkness as I had very little idea of what I would in fact be programming, let alone the amount of it. But today I was able to see the entire summer laid out on monthly sheets. It just tells me the title of what is happening for each age group at night not how to plan it (that's my job) or what's happening during many of the days. This is something that if I had looked at while interviewing for the job I would have been more hesitant to take it. However, I am confident in my ability to take this job and rock it. It won't be easy, but it will be fun and achievable.
God tells us what we need to know at the right time for us to hear it. If He told us everything at once we would be overwhelmed and He knows that. Instead, He slowly shows it to us so that we can comprehend it and are ready to listen. Be patient!

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." Psalms 119:105

Radical

I spent some time today catching up on my friends blogs... including one that talked about being radical. That really influenced me as I have had my life massively altered in recent days, but have not told too many people about it.
As many of you know, my plan after graduation was to go one of the Dakotas to teach. I had researched it online, knew a significant amount about it, and have been telling people that that's where I planned to get a full-time teaching job for years. It was a 'safe' choice, even though teaching there isn't easy.
I'm a very safe person: I set up my retirement funds at 18 and slowly add to it with each paycheck now. I live below my means and am ready to pay my school loans when they are due. (In high school, Coach mentioned that one of her gifts to her husband was no student loan debt and I've desired to follow that plan as well.) I live in a cheap apartment that's affordable and am blessed to have it filled with things that I need and might need in the future.
So my plans are set... graduate with my masters and get a full-time teaching job. Teaching is a safe job as long as you are willing to move.

God steps in to alter these plans massively:
1. He slowly reduces my desire to have a classroom of my own and shows me the joys of subbing.
2. He gives me a position as a Graduate Assistant where I can interact with people around campus in many different offices and students of all ages. I help perspective students through alumni... focusing mostly on students at the campus.
3. He allows me freedom to finish my grad program with flexibility to be determined in the Fall.
4. He enabled my required classes to not be on Wednesdays so I could begin to help with the ministry of my church and pour into those students.
5. He brought back the thoughts of being a full-time missionary that I had pushed onto the far back burner for years.
6. He gave me the strength to make that first call saying that I was interested and wanted more information about it.
7. He has given me supportive parents and many people praying about it.

I'm confident that if I am supposed to have this job then I will get it. The application and references are partially filled out on my computer and my excitement is building to think about the job.
Now full-time missionary is not what I ever anticipated doing with my life. I've loved teaching and working with kids for about 10 years and this job isn't with kids. But, as I look back and see what else God has been doing to prepare me for this it's amazing.

During the 2nd service trip, I was a co-coordinator but also an RA in training on campus. This meant that after the first day I could only be at the trip starting between 8 and 11 pm and then had to return to campus for 8am breakfast. I spent those hours at night fellowshipping with others while also doing the paperwork, making sure food was set for the next day, and organizing other things. After two days of this I got frustrated because I felt like I wasn't doing any service. One of the guys on the trip told me "I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Your service is to do this work so that everyone else can go out and serve." That comment, probably made about 1am, has dramatically changed my way of thinking.
It's not my calling to go out and change the world dramatically. Instead God has given me the gifts of shepherding, administration, and giving so that I could instead help enable others to go out and serve. We can all be world-changers, but first we have to be changed to be willing to follow God's path, wherever it may lead.
For me, I believe that the job I'm preparing mentally and physically for now is one that God has called me to for five or more years. It's not a 'safe' job as I would have to raise my own salary and depend on God for all providence. Regardless of my initial hesitations, I believe that having this job (if it's God's will for me to do it now), would benefit God, others, and myself.
Changing my dream of teaching kids to being a full-time missionary hasn't been easy, but I know that God is providing for it to happen. Only time will tell what the end result will be on me getting the job and raising the funds. May God have all the glory in whatever I do in my life.

P.S. If you want to know what the job is message me and I'll post it on here once it's more settled. In the meantime, prayer is powerful!

Canoeing with Wind

As we were canoeing earlier today, the wind decided to pick up. The lake usually has no wind and is very easy for us to canoe on. As I taught my friends how to paddle and was in charge of the steering, it showed me how much control God has in my life. I had the power, strength, and wisdom to guide the boat where I wanted it to go no matter what the person in the bow did. She could paddle on left or the right, fast or slow, and I could still decide to turn the boat around in a minute. Even when the wind came and blew us to the side, I could overpower it to go the correct direction.
God is the same way. He's in the stern of my canoe in control of where the boat is going. I can try to paddle to help go in the same direction which speeds up the process. If I'm not listening to Him then I'll paddle against what He wants me to do. This makes it harder, but ultimately the choice in desination in still the same.
I hope that I am seeking to work with Him on the path for my life. Putting in the needed work to go farther and faster. Working towards God's plan is easier than working against it although both do require work.

New perspective

This weekend so far I've had a new perspective on where I grew up. Today I got to enjoy a campfire (one of my all time favorite activities to do) while looking up at the stars. As I talked with two of my friends who roasted their first marshmallows and made s'mores I reflected on the many times I've made the s'mores around similar campfires. From attending camp to sleepovers with friends, prom night to visits home from college, and finally to working at camp and enjoying marshmallows at college (even in Australia), campfires are a great way to communicate and share in God's glory.
The stars tonight, which I can recognize many more of thanks to last night's open house at the observatory, reminded me that I am just a speak of light in the universe. I might be really far away from someone or something, but my light can shine anyway. It also flashed me back to my freshman small group as we read "It's Not About Me." That book reminded us that we aren't really shining ourselves, but instead reflecting the light of the Son, just as the planets reflect the light of the Sun.
Particularly since tomorrow is Easter, and secondarily since I'm working to improve my witnessing, I'm praying that I will get the chance to show that Jesus is the Answer and that He died for me and for those around me. I hope you share that prayer and understand that Christ is Lord over all the Earth and Heavens. Happy Easter!

Stars

This is the first of three nights and 4 days of break at my parents with two of my Chinese friends. After arriving home we enjoyed a nice meal of Mexican food before embarking on a quick walk around downtown, cause downtown is small. Then off to the Observatory we went. There we were able to see galaxies, Mars, Venus, Saturn, and the moon after finding the six main constellations. It was a beautiful night. I'll post the picture of the Moon on here soon.
I wish I had been able to take a picture of Saturn as it looked just like in the pictures with the rings and we even got to see one of its moons. To think that God designed all of these things with us in mind is amazing. We can never hope to see all of His creation, but each little glimpse reminds me of how much I love my creator. I can't wait to see what else this weekend holds as I'm getting to experience Easter weekend in the country through the eyes of the Chinese students. I'm seeing my town in a whole new light, and realizing how much I loved growing up here.

Endurance

Not one of my strong suits. In fact, one of my weakest areas when it comes to sports, followed not too far back by not great hand-eye coordination and ball skills. Regardless of the sport, endurance is important though (swimming doesn't care about ball skills).
As I finished up playing an intramural soccer game today in the cold weather (36ºF now, maybe 40º when we played), I realized just how poor my endurance is. I'm still breathing kinda heavy from a game that ended almost 1.5 hours ago. Practice helps us to build up our endurance, but it takes time. So while sports is not something I will ever get a job doing, the goal of my team(s) is to glorify God through playing. For us that involves giving Him the glory for the win or loss, trying our hardest, praying before games, and having good sportmanship (both before, during, and after the game). One of the teams we played this week (that I actually played on against Strive), stated before the game "We could never beat them. They're the holy team." Despite the fact that they/we did win, I think being noticed that our actions are different is a good thing.
Paul told Timothy in his first letter, chapter 4, verse 8 that "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." We are put here to be godly. That has value now and forever while the scores of the game will fade quickly into the past. Glorifying God is something beneficial for everyone and does not require physical endurance but godly endurance to keep seeking God no matter the cost.

The unachievable goal...

Sometimes we reach a point in our life where something seems unachievable. Maybe it's something small like the 4.0 GPA or a fast time in the race. Other times it's more important like getting the right job or dating the right person. Regardless of what seems unattainable by our own strength, know that as a Christian we don't have to operate under just our own power. We have the power of Christ working for us to do His Will. He works all things together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. We just have to trust Him and turn over the wheel to Him. As one guy said this weekend, that's not just giving God the driver's seat, it's taking our hand off the wheel as well. Try it and see where you go.

All the right pieces

I decided to make a smoothie tonight for dinner. I added the frozen blueberries, frozen peaches, milk, and icecream into the blender and hit go. It moved a little bit, then I realized that it wasn't working like normal. I picked it up to check and finally after dumping everything out realized one piece was out of order. I had not sealed the rim of the container to prevent links and therefore the juice was coming out. After fixing the problem, I tried again, but it was too late. Now I'm stuck drinking a milk/ice-cream milkshake with chunks of blueberries and peaches.
Sometimes we put all of the right pieces of our life together. We add education, a good job, friends, and family members into our life. We try to get it to balance out and become homogenous, but something is wrong. God, working through us, is in charge. But when we remove Him from being close to us, it's not effective. He doesn't work when we don't stay connected to Him. Is it time to take apart the pieces of your life and make sure that God is located close to the action so He can be effective? A chunky smoothie is good, but not the same as one that was perfectly blended.

Children

This weekend some of my many loved children became calling me Mamma... a different heard for many years. Now none of these children are legally mine, and some aren't even younger than I am. Regardless, my love for them is constant and my family keeps growing. I would do anything for them and I pray that they all know that. They ask me questions, ask for favors, and show me their love in a variety of forms. Whatever they need (not want), I'm willing to help support them to get them there.
If I love these "children" so much when I did not meet them before they were 17ish, how much more would I love my own child who I knew from the day they were conceived? Camps recognize that they are intrusted with the parents most precious belonging. Children are a wonderful gift and I know that while I am not a biological one now (nor do I desire to be at this time in my life), I can love the body of Christ like a mother loves her children.
God, our Heavenly Father, who know all things and does all things for His children, loved us enough to send his only biological son to the earth to save us. And who are we? The sinners of this world. For us, God allowed His own Son to die so that He was able to adopt anyone who wanted to into His family. I am blessed to know that God loves me enough to send His son to die for me... and would have sent Jesus to die even if I was the only person on this earth. There is nothing He would have held back from saving us.
Are we willing to share that Love with others? Those who do not have loving earthly parents and need a loving Heavenly Father. Those who sin and still need to know that God came to them while they were still sinners. Those who are good people, but still need a Savior because none are righteous, no not one. We should be encouraged by Our Father's love for us and know that He is there to catch us when we fall so we can try anything. Are you sharing and enjoying the Love of God or are you rejecting it?

April!

Today is April 1st! I'm so excited to be finished with April and to be that much closer to the summer. Mostly, I'm just glad that my work is slowing down and that I have two weeks "off" but with the students still around. It'll be a great chance to sleep in tomorrow and to work on my thesis. Also, if you want to meet up these two weeks would be a good time :) Enjoy April and hopefully spring weather (or fall if that's the season for you).

Job well done

Today I successfully ran a large event on campus that has taken the planning committee and I since November to plan. Since January the other head coordinator and I have taken about 4-5 hours a week getting ready for it. It ran smoothly and we got to hear our bosses say good job.
Encouraging words are very powerful which is a lesson I hope some of my friends also learned today. The ultimate of encouragement is God saying to us when we die "well done, good and faithful servant." I long to hear that from Him and strive to live a life worthy of those words.
Encourage someone today!